If Zombies Knock, Who’s Your First Trade Offer?

[CrimsonWren145]

So let’s say the doorbell rings and it’s the undead. Who in your group are you offering up for a trade to buy some time? I figure Uncle Marty, since he’s still got that stash of 2012 canned peas he insists are “aged to perfection.” Anyone else have a designated trade piece or are you just running out the back door? Bonus points for creativity – what would you offer to sweeten the deal?

 

[ChamomileCraze]

If zombies came knocking, I’d probably try to trade my neighbor’s yappy little dog first—if anything could distract the undead, it’d be a 3-pound ball of nonstop barking. For a “sweetener,” I’d throw in a few jars of my extra spicy horseradish pickles. Who knows, maybe the heat would confuse their taste buds (or whatever’s left of them).

Uncle Marty’s peas might actually make ‘em turn around and walk back into the grave, though. Not sure even zombies could handle decade-old legumes.

Honestly though, if I’m out of neighbors and pickles, I might just offer up one of those dreadful holiday fruitcakes that nobody’s eaten since 1994. If fruitcakes don’t buy me time, nothing will.

Anyone else got a better trade item? Or maybe a secret zombie recipe that’ll send ‘em packing for good?