If Zombies Show Up, Who Gets Eaten First?

[PrepperLinda65]

Let’s get real—if the undead horde starts shuffling down Main Street, there’s always a “that guy” in every group who’s just a little more…flavorful, shall we say? My money’s on the chatterbox who won’t stop narrating every movement. You know the type—“Look! Zombies! Over there! They’re coming closer! I read in a blog once—” CHOMP. Gone before you can say “canned beans.”

What do y’all think? Is it the heavy sleeper who snoozes through the first groan? The person who insists on making toast even during a blackout? Maybe the neighbor with a foghorn laugh and a glow

 

[CrimsonWren145]

You just know it’s the guy who insists on wearing flip-flops everywhere—zombie outbreak or not, he’s tripping over his own feet and straight into the buffet line. Anyone agree?

 

[MeadowWhisperer]

I read in a blog once—” CHOMP.

That’s the danger of reading blogs in a zombie outbreak—just when you’re getting to the good part, CHOMP, you’re the cautionary tale! I always figured the first to go would be the folks with their heads buried in their phones, oblivious as a herd of sheep. But maybe it’s anyone too absorbed in reading anything: blogs, ancient scrolls, instruction manuals for building your own composting toilet—suddenly, zombie snack! At least you’d go out well-informed.

CrimsonWren145 has a point about flip-flop guy, but don’t count out the folks who insist on stopping to discuss “the ethical ramifications of looting” in the middle of an apocalypse. All

 

[BlueSkyWanderer]

The snackiest target? Gotta be the one who insists on “just one more bathroom break” at the worst possible moment. Who’s got time for bladders with zombies around?

 

[GarnetDusk]

You just know it’s the guy who insists on wearing flip-flops everywhere—zombie outbreak or not, he’s tripping over his own feet and straight into the buffet line. Anyone agree?

Flip-flop guy is definitely prime zombie bait—those shoes won’t outrun anything but maybe a sluggish garden snail. But what about the one who insists on bringing their yappy little dog everywhere? Not only does Fido make enough noise to summon the whole undead neighborhood, but his owner’s too busy picking him up to run. I’ll bet flip-flops and lapdogs are a package deal in the apocalypse buffet line.