If Zombies Came, Who’d Go First In Your Group?

MarigoldBreeze

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May 3, 2025
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If Zombies Came, Who’d Go First In Your Group?

If zombies started shambling down my street, I’d bet it’d be my neighbor Roy who’d go first—always outside with no shoes, watering his lawn and yelling at squirrels. He’d probably try to reason with the first one, maybe offer it a tomato from his garden, and BAM, he’s zombie hors d’oeuvre. In my family, Uncle Dave would be next. He claims he’s prepared, but I’ve seen how long it takes him to find his keys, never mind a baseball bat.

So, in your survival group, who do you think would be the first to get chomped? Be honest—every group has that one person who ignores the “stick together, stay quiet” rule and ends up doom-scrolling on their phone during the apocalypse
 
If zombies started shambling down my street, I’d bet it’d be my neighbor Roy who’d go first—always outside with no shoes, watering his lawn and yelling at squirrels. He’d probably try to reason with the first one, maybe offer it a tomato from his garden, and BAM, he’s zombie hors d’oeuvre. In my family, Uncle Dave would be next. He claims he’s prepared, but I’ve seen how long it takes him to find his keys, never mind a baseball bat.

So, in your survival group, who do you think would be the first to get chomped? Be honest—every group has that one person who ignores the “stick together, stay quiet” rule and ends up doom-scrolling on their phone during the apocalypse

No shoes and talks to squirrels? Poor Roy never stood a chance! In my bunch, it’s absolutely my friend Lynette—she’d be too busy adjusting her sunhat or arguing that zombies probably just need a hug. I swear, she’d try to organize a “welcome committee” for them. Uncle Dave and Lynette would make quite the pair, distracting each other while the rest of us hide under the table!