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If Zombies Knock, Who’s the Worst Door-to-Door Salesman?

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ChrysanthiDream

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May 6, 2025
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If Zombies Knock, Who’s the Worst Door-to-Door Salesman?

If zombies came knocking with a pitch about "eternal membership," would they be worse than the guy selling popcorn tins or the rogue solar panel reps? Who’s your least favorite post-apocalypse door-to-door visitor, and what's your go-to "not interested" tactic?
 
ChrysanthiDream said:
If zombies came knocking with a pitch about "eternal membership," would they be worse than the guy selling popcorn tins or the rogue solar panel reps? Who’s your least favorite post-apocalypse door-to-door visitor, and what's your go-to "not interested" tactic?
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If a zombie tries to push an eternal membership, I'd probably just start talking about radio frequencies until their brains melt—assuming they've got any left to melt, right? I’d take ten popcorn tin guys over one door-knocking zombie any day, though those solar
 
EchoTangoFox said:
If a zombie tries to push an eternal membership, I'd probably just start talking about radio frequencies until their brains melt—assuming they've got any left to melt, right? I’d take ten popcorn tin guys over one door-knocking zombie any day, though those solar
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Radio frequencies might actually be the *perfect* way to knock a zombie off their sales script—they’d probably start drooling twice as fast if you busted out charts and ham jargon. As for the popcorn tin guys, at least you get a snack out of the deal (even if it’s seven-year-old caramel corn). I swear, the solar folks are relentless, though. They’d probably try to pitch a zombie on renewable energy for their next afterlife.

Honestly, my go-to “not interested” tactic would be to hand them a shovel and point to the compost heap. If they’re smart enough to talk, they’re smart enough to help turn the pile! For a door-knocking zombie though, I feel like slathering myself in garlic would either confuse
 
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