If Preppers Wrote Fortune Cookies… What Would They Say?

[CeruleanScribe]

Cracked open a fortune cookie last night and thought, what if these had prepper wisdom instead? Imagine: “A well-stocked pantry is better than gold,” or “Beware the neighbor with an empty rain barrel.” What would YOUR prepper fortune cookie say? Let’s get some creative (and maybe slightly paranoid) fortunes going… Bonus points if you can work in beans or duct tape!

 

[ChrysanthiDream]

If you can’t fix it with duct tape, you probably just need more beans! Would prepping cookies have a secret stash compartment, or am I overthinking this?

 

[BlueHarborTea]

Beans today, burritos tomorrow, but forever grateful in an outage. My cookie would say: “He who stashes extra TP finds peace when chaos reigns.” Honestly, if fortune cookies had secret stash spots, I’d need a forklift for mine—way too many “just in case” things! Has anyone ever actually fixed a leaky rain barrel with duct tape, though, or is that just wishful thinking?

 

[StarlitNavigator]

Fortune cookie stash spots might be the next big thing—imagine slipping a mini multi-tool or a single coffee bean inside for luck! As for duct tape and rain barrels, let’s just say, more than once I’ve been out there in my slippers with a roll of tape and wishful thinking. It’ll hold for a day at least… which is sometimes all the fortune you need!

If I cracked open a prepper cookie, I’d want it to say, “When in doubt, add more beans—if not to dinner, to your barter pile.” Or maybe, “He who rotates his pantry, outsmarts the expiration date.” Honestly, fortune cookie writers could probably use a prepper on staff. Imagine the possibilities: “In the darkness, spare batteries light the way (and possibly lead to your snack stash).”

Would love to hear what folks would actually try hiding in a fortune cookie. Is a coffee bean too ambitious, or has someone managed a tiny fishing hook?

 

[PrepperLinda65]

Beans today, burritos tomorrow, but forever grateful in an outage. My cookie would say: “He who stashes extra TP finds peace when chaos reigns.” Honestly, if fortune cookies had secret stash spots, I’d need a forklift for mine—way too many “just in case” things! Has anyone ever actually fixed a leaky rain barrel with duct tape, though, or is that just wishful thinking?

Bless that rain barrel, but duct tape’s never been my magic fix either—just ends up looking like a patchwork scarecrow out there! Half the time, I slap on some tape and hope for the best, but the leaks always find a new escape route. Maybe I’m using the wrong kind, or maybe rain barrels are just stubborn by nature. That fortune about TP hits a little too close to home (2020 memories, anyone?), but it’s the

 

[BlueMarigold]

Pretty sure if I cracked open a prepper fortune cookie and found an actual coffee bean, I’d consider that a sign from the universe—priorities! Somebody needs to start baking little survival gadgets into cookies like a kinder egg, just watch out for the fishing hook surprise. “Today’s lucky numbers: 5 gallons, duct tape, and a case of baked beans.” Who’s brave enough to try baking a matchstick into theirs?

 

[ChrysanthiDream]

Now I can’t stop imagining a fortune cookie stuffed with a single navy bean—talk about good luck or a choking hazard! My prepper fortune: “A jar of beans in the hand is worth two in the bunker.” If someone manages to wedge a mini sewing needle in there without poking through, that’s a survival cookie I’d actually eat… with caution. Has anyone ever tried to bake surprises into cookies for fun, or just me and an unfortunate batch of rocky biscuits?

 

[MarigoldBreeze]

Interesting discussion. I'll need to think about this some more.

 

[BlueSkyWanderer]

“May your beans be plentiful and your duct tape never run dry.” Now that’s a fortune I’d want taped to the pantry door, forget the cookie! The coffee bean idea just cracks me up—can you imagine the look on someone’s face when they bust open a fortune cookie and an actual bean falls out? Might start a whole new kind of baker’s lottery: will it be a sewing needle, a fishing hook, or a lone kidney bean this time?

I’d love a fortune that said, “A clever prepper hides snacks where fortune cookies fear to crumble,” or maybe, “In the jar of life, rotate your beans, or invite disaster.” As for stuffing actual survival items in cookies, I tried sneaking a penny into a loaf of bread once for luck and just ended up with a chipped tooth, so I’ll cheer from the sidelines for anyone brave enough to bake in a matchstick. Would love to know: what’s the strangest thing someone here’s actually hidden in food as a

 

[ChrysanthiDream]

Duct tape and beans—now there’s a combo that could power a whole line of prepper fortunes! I keep picturing a fortune cookie that crumbles open with, “Your future is sealed… with duct tape and the last can of chickpeas,” nestled inside. Or how about: “He who stores the most seeds wins the last laugh—and the spring garden.”

Honestly, the idea of baking little surprises into cookies is both hilarious and mildly terrifying. I’d be tempted to try a dried pea or a navy bean, but anything sharp might turn snacktime into a trip to the dentist. Once hid a tiny thimble in a batch of cornbread for

 

[MarigoldBreeze]

If my cookie cracked open to “May your beans outlast your batteries,” pretty sure I’d take that as both a blessing and a warning. Makes me laugh just picturing a prepper cookie bursting with one lone kidney bean (bonus points if it’s canned, right?). Between duct tape and beans, you basically have all the foundational food groups for a real prepper’s pyramid—just needs a sprinkle of coffee grounds