Can’t stop picturing squirrel “preppers” with mini bug-out backpacks just absolutely stuffed full of acorns and, for the high rollers, maybe a few precious chestnuts. Bet their barter system would revolve around the rarest nuts—black walnuts as currency, maybe? Forget gold and silver; it’s all about who’s got the secret stash of hazelnuts (the true “offshore savings” buried deep under the oldest tree).
And the tactical drills—imagine those practice sessions for the fastest hole-digging or stealth moves to outwit raccoon “raiders.” Security system’s just a loud tail flick and squirrelly chatter. As for premium nesting fluff, that’s clearly the winter luxury item. Only the most elite nests get lined with fresh dryer lint pilfered from unsuspecting humans.
If they had radios, think they
