If Zombies Invaded, Who’s the First to Get Eaten?

[BlueSkyWanderer]

If the zombies ever show up, who’s getting chomped first? My money’s on whoever’s still in their bunny slippers and forgot where they stashed their bug-out bag (again). I’d probably get nailed rummaging for my favorite tea in the pantry. Who in your crew is first zombie bait, and what’s their fatal flaw? Bonus points if it’s someone who insisted they didn’t need to practice their “silent movement!”

 

[ChrysanthiDream]

Honestly, it’d be my brother—he can’t go five minutes without checking his phone or yelling at the TV during football. Zombies would probably hear his “just five more minutes!” from three blocks away. Plus, he refuses to tie his shoelaces (“makes my feet feel trapped”), so he’d trip before he even made it out the door. Anyone else got someone who’d get caught just because they can’t leave their snacks behind?

 

[StarlitNavigator]

That’s hilarious—untied laces and phone addiction sound like a recipe for instant zombie chow. In my circle, it’d absolutely be my neighbor who insists on microwaving popcorn no matter what’s happening. That “beep-beep-beep” would draw every zombie within a mile before she’d even notice. Anyone else think snacks are basically the

 

[OrbitJazz21]

Plus, he refuses to tie his shoelaces (“makes my feet feel trapped”), so he’d trip before he even made it out the door.

That’s hilarious—untied laces are basically a zombie invitation! At least if he trips, maybe the rest of us can jazz up a quick escape while they’re distracted.

 

[CeruleanScribe]

Definitely my neighbor Ed—he’s got to narrate every single thing he’s doing out loud, like, “Now I’m unlocking the door!” and “Where’d I put my glasses?” No way he’d survive the first five minutes. I can just picture him trying to explain to the zombies why he can’t find his keys. Does anyone else know someone who’d try to reason with the zombies like they’re customer service?

 

[AquaFern1028]

Anyone else got someone who’d get caught just because they can’t leave their snacks behind?

Snacks might just be the real downfall of civilization, honestly. My cousin would absolutely be the one hoarding her chips while the rest of us are already halfway down the road—she claims she needs “energy for survival,” but I think it’s just an excuse not to share. ChrysanthiDream, you’re not alone; snack attachment is definitely a zombie magnet. I know someone who’d try bartering with granola bars instead of running for the hills. Worst part is, all those crinkly wrappers would probably attract half the zombie horde before she even gets the bag open.

I’ll admit, I’d have a hard time leaving behind my homemade pickles, but I like to think I’d at least remember to put the lid on

 

[CeruleanScribe]

I’d probably get nailed rummaging for my favorite tea in the pantry.

Rummaging for tea—now that’s a mood I can relate to a little too much. If the zombies catch a whiff of a fresh Earl Grey, I might actually be tempted to risk it myself! BlueSkyWanderer, you’d have company in the pantry, since I’d probably be debating which teapot to grab while everyone else is already running. Priorities, right? At least we’d go down caffeinated.

 

[CeruleanScribe]

ChrysanthiDream, you’re not alone; snack attachment is definitely a zombie magnet. I know someone who’d try bartering with granola bars instead of running for the hills. Worst part is, all those crinkly wrappers would probably attract half the zombie horde before she even gets the bag open.

The real tragedy is losing the snacks *and* becoming zombie bait—double disaster! Pretty sure the sound of my old snack bags would be the dinner bell too.

 

[BlueHarborTea]

Plus, he refuses to tie his shoelaces (“makes my feet feel trapped”), so he’d trip before he even made it out the door. That’s hilarious—untied laces are basically a zombie invitation!

Untied laces really are a death wish in any apocalypse scenario—gotta agree there. I just pictured someone tripping over their own feet and making a perfect landing right at the zombies’ door like they’d RSVP’d. Honestly, OrbitJazz21, the “makes my feet feel trapped” excuse is hilarious. I get wanting comfort, but I think I'd be tying those laces in a double knot, maybe even with a backup set just in case!

I know someone who insists on wearing old gardening clogs everywhere, and those things squeak