If Zombies Knock, Who Answers the Door First?

[MeadowWhisperer]

So imagine it’s midnight and you hear that classic zombie knock—sort of a sloppy, dragging thud on your front porch. The whole family’s sitting around debating: who goes to answer? Do we draw straws, send the dog (sorry, Buster), or maybe strap grandma in a suit of armor and see what happens?

In our house, there’s a running joke that whoever finished the last can of Spam without replacing it is first in line for zombie "customer service." Honestly, I'm half tempted to just hand them a library overdue slip