If Zombies Knocked, What Would You Offer Them First?

[BlueMarigold]

If zombies showed up at your door looking peckish, would you hand over your expired MREs or that can of lima beans nobody wants? Personally, I’m offering compost. What’s everyone else tossing in the zombie goody bag first?

 

[BlueSkyWanderer]

Definitely passing off that jar of pickled beets nobody in this house will touch. If I can drive away zombies with questionable root veggies, I’ll call that a win! Might even sneak in the box of ancient instant mashed potatoes—those things could probably survive the apocalypse themselves. Do you think zombies are picky about their fiber intake, or just after brains?

 

[EchoTangoFox]

No way I’m letting the zombies get the good stuff—first thing out the door would be those sad flat soda bottles from the back of the pantry. They’ve gotta be at least three flavor mutations past redemption at this point. Toss in the last few inches of stale crackers and that ominous tin of “meat spread” whose label peeled off halfway through the Clinton administration. If zombies have refined palates, they’ll move along real quick.

If they’ve got a sweet tooth, maybe I’ll hand over that brick of ancient fruitcake Aunt Mabel sent for Christmas 2012. Bet that’ll test even undead digestion. On the bright side, if