Navigating Life and Death: A Couple's Fight Against Cancer
A couple in Southern California, parents to three young girls, are living a nightmare as they both battle cancer. With the husband, Zak, receiving a terminal diagnosis and his wife, Cori, fighting her second bout, they're learning to appreciate life in the face of death.
Family First
The couple's primary concern is the well-being of their three daughters. Cori expresses her deepest wish for her girls to feel "loved, safe, and cared for, even when things are bleak".
Over the past year, the family has seen its share of hardships. Zak underwent chemotherapy for an aggressive type of brain cancer, glioblastoma, while Cori recovered from surgery for thyroid cancer.
Struggling with the Unthinkable
Zak reflected on the frightening reality they face, stating, "What happens to the girls if we both go? These are not conversations 39-year-old parents should be having." This fear became even more pronounced when Cori discovered a slow-growing form of pancreatic cancer during a routine scan for kidney stones.
She underwent surgery to remove her spleen and part of her pancreas, and will require ongoing monitoring. Around the same time, Zak's routine brain MRI revealed a new concern.
Seeking Answers
Zak was urged to start chemotherapy immediately after doctors discovered a worrisome spot on his MRI. Nonetheless, he sought a second opinion from a cancer center in Houston, Texas. During this time, the family found solace in prayer. Zak prayed for healing, stating, "Lord, I just ask that you've already healed me."
The Shadow of Mortality
Living with the constant reality of death, Zak acknowledges, "In the glioblastoma community, we will never be cancer-free, because the diagnosis is terminal. It's a chronic cancer." Despite these challenges, they are using their experience to learn valuable lessons about life and death.
They use children's books about grief to facilitate conversations with their daughters, providing them with tools to navigate tough times. Cori notes, "It really gives them the tools to move through these hard times."
Preparing for the Inevitable
With her husband facing a terminal illness, Cori sought out resources to help her prepare for the worst. She came across a book from death doula Alua Arthur, who runs "Going with Grace" workshops that help individuals prepare for death, a process Arthur believes serves as a valuable lesson in living.
Arthur commends the couple's approach, remarking, "They are open and honest and thoughtful, and they are involving their children in the process. That's not something that we see every day."
Living in the Moment
Arthur's perspective resonates with Cori and Zak, who are learning to live in the present. "That's what we have is just like, right here, right now," Cori said. "Yep, we have today," Zak agreed.
Fortunately, their prayers in Houston were answered. A detailed MRI revealed that the spot on Zak's brain was a false alarm, and he could discontinue chemotherapy. Their four-year-old daughter, Luna, declared it the best day ever.
Recalling this, Zak said, "Right as she's about to fall asleep, she says, 'Dad, do you remember that one time we went to the park and we prayed together?' I said, 'Yeah, I do remember that.' She goes, 'That was a good day.'"