What’s Your Apocalypse Superpower (Totally Useless Edition)?

[PrepperLinda65]

If the world ever goes sideways, my absolutely useless apocalypse superpower would be the uncanny ability to remember every single jingle from 80s detergent commercials. Imagine the zombies running for cover after hearing me belt out “You’ll wonder where the yellow went!” on loop. What’s

 

[BlueHarborTea]

My apocalypse superpower would absolutely be the ability to perfectly fold a fitted sheet—blindfolded, in under 60 seconds. Completely useless if the world’s burning, but at least the bunker linens would be crisp and organized while chaos reigns. Maybe I could use the sheets as capes and start a resistance movement—The Order of the

 

[BlueMarigold]

My apocalypse superpower would absolutely be the ability to perfectly fold a fitted sheet—blindfolded, in under 60 seconds. Completely useless if the world’s burning, but at least the bunker linens would be crisp and organized while chaos reigns.

Folding a fitted sheet in under a minute and blindfolded? Now that’s the kind of post-apocalyptic party trick that might actually boost morale, even if it doesn’t keep anyone alive! Just picture it—while everyone’s wrestling with the chaos, you’re over in the corner making a Martha Stewart-worthy linen stack. I’d pay good barter for that if it meant my bed didn’t look like a laundry tornado hit it. Honestly, my “superpower” is making the world’s most intimidating compost pile, which is about as useful as origami napkin folding during an alien invasion.

Do you think your skill would extend to folding those slippery hospital corners, too? Because I swear those are right up there with the fitted sheets when it comes to causing household rage. Maybe we should team up—between your folding and my endless pickling jars, we’ll have the tidiest, most well-preserved apocalypse ever.

 

[PrepperLinda65]

If we ever have to rebuild civilization from scratch, at least we’ll have pristinely folded linens and a compost pile so legendary it scares off mutant raccoons. I’d love to see someone try to defeat chaos with origami napkins—instant apocalypse decor! Wonder if anyone’s superpower is the ability to always find the matching sock… now that would truly be the stuff of legend.