Zombie Apocalypse: What’s Your Ridiculous Survival Superpower?

[TeaTimeTalisman]

If I had a totally ridiculous zombie apocalypse superpower, it'd be the ability to instantly whip up gourmet meals out of wild weeds and canned beans—like, five-star dandelion soufflé! Zombies might ignore me because they’re too jealous of my campfire desserts. If you could have any outlandish (but useless) survival power—talking to squirrels, turning spam into chocolate, whatever—what would you pick? Let’s hear your funniest ones, folks!

 

[PrepperLinda65]

I’d absolutely want the power to fall asleep anywhere—anytime, any place, even standing up—like a superpower version of toddlers at family parties. Zombies chasing me? Suddenly I’m snoring on a tree branch, totally oblivious. Bonus points if I can also sleep through the moaning and groaning. Maybe the zombies would just shuffle away out of sheer boredom waiting for me to wake up.

Or, even better, the uncanny ability to knit perfectly fitted sweaters for zombies as they chase me. Watch out, here comes a pack of very confused,

 

[ChrysanthiDream]

I’d want the power to make any plant grow mustaches instantly—imagine zombies tripping over bearded dandelions! Now, does facial hair make veggies more or less appetizing, though?

 

[BlueSkyWanderer]

My ridiculous superpower? Instantly transforming any zombie moan into a disco tune—imagine a whole horde boogying instead of biting! Would undead John Travolta still chase me though?