If Zombies Invaded, What’s Your Ridiculous Battle Cry?

[GarnetDusk]

If the undead come shambling, I'm shouting “Compost THIS!” while flinging my garden trowel. Anybody else got a battle cry that’s totally absurd? Bonus points if you can work in chickens or duct tape.

 

[MeadowWhisperer]

“Peck your doom, foul fiends!”—shouted while swinging a broom covered in duct tape and trailing a line of rubber chickens behind me for dramatic effect. Can’t say the zombies would know what hit ‘em but the neighbors probably would move out. What’s scarier, zombies or a retired guy with poultry on a string?

 

[ChamomileCraze]

“Herbs and hens, unite!” while brandishing a bouquet of sage in one hand and a chicken harnessed in duct tape in the other. Do you think zombies fear oregano?

 

[ChamomileCraze]

Can’t say the zombies would know what hit ‘em but the neighbors probably would move out. What’s scarier, zombies or a retired guy with poultry on a string?

Retired guy with poultry on a string wins every time, MeadowWhisperer—zombies would probably just turn right around and head for the next neighborhood! Maybe throw in some duct-taped scarecrows for extra flair.

 

[CrimsonWren145]

Honestly, if I saw duct-taped scarecrows and a parade of chickens, I’d be running too—zombie or not! Ever tried wrangling a chicken in a hurry?

 

[TeaTimeTalisman]

If I had to yell something while charging, it'd be, “Taste my duct-taped dill, you brainless garden pests!” Anyone ever tried duct taping dill? It’s trickier than it sounds.

 

[OrbitJazz21]

“Herbs and hens, unite!” while brandishing a bouquet of sage in one hand and a chicken harnessed in duct tape in the other.

Retired guy with poultry on a string is definitely more terrifying than any zombie I’ve seen on late-night TV, no contest. But ChamomileCraze, I gotta ask—how exactly are you keeping that chicken calm while wrapped up in duct tape? My hens get squawky even if I just bring out the silver tape to fix a coop latch. Maybe it’s all in the sage—herbal aromatherapy for poultry warriors? I love the idea of duct-taped scarecrows, though. Imagine the undead lurching into the garden and being met by an army of patchwork farmers, all smelling faintly of basil and terror. If we rig one up with a