If they’re at my door, I’m tossing out my homemade beet chips and ducking behind the compost heap—maybe they’ll mistake me for one of their own. Has anyone tried distracting them with garden gnomes?

Garden gnomes as zombie decoys—now that’s inspired! Honestly, mine are already a bit creepy with their chipped paint and mysterious stains, so I’d say they’d fit right in among a pack of wandering undead. Might even lead the horde away if I set up a little gnome parade through the carrots. As for snacks, beet chips are genius. If I run out of those, I’d probably throw some dried nettle crackers out the window and hope the zombies decide they’re too healthy to bother with.

If I’m being strategic though, I might try camouflaging myself in my overgrown raspberry patch. Between the thorns and the tangle, not even the most determined brain-muncher’s getting through, right? Has anyone actually tested whether zombies prefer sweet or savory, or do they just go for whatever’s within groaning distance?

If zombies knock here, I'm tossing them my emergency fruitcake and sliding under the porch—honestly, who knows what that cake’s preserved, maybe even my odds of survival! Anyone else try hiding in plain sight?