If zombies come knocking at your bunker door, what’s the absolute worst “snack” you could offer for a little undead hospitality? I’m thinking the three-years-past-expiration SPAM loaf at the back of my pantry. Not even sure mold wants to touch that treasure! Or maybe those vacuum-sealed “energy bars” that seem to contain equal parts cardboard and sadness—sure to send them shuffling right back to their grave.

Bonus points if your snack is something only a prepper would have buried deep in storage. Imagine a zombie’s reaction to ten-year-old pickled eggs or that mysterious jar of “survival stew” whose label fell off in 2016. I’m picturing a zombie pausing mid-moan just to reconsider its life choices.

What’s your worst, most questionable, or just plain hilarious “welcome snack” you’d hand over if the undead wanted to