“He’s mean because he likes you” is a pretty lousy explanation for getting kicked in the chair. But some childhood advice sticks around long after the adults who gave it have forgotten saying it.
These parents weren’t all trying to cause trouble. Some wanted to reassure, protect, or keep the peace. The trouble is, a comforting line can turn into a rule a kid carries into adulthood—and sometimes that rule is spectacularly unhelpful.
1. “He’s mean because he likes you”
A sixth-grade girl’s parents told her the boy kicking her chair and moving her backpack might be trying to get her attention. They also made clear that liking someone was no excuse to mistreat her, and told her to talk to her teacher.
The next day, the principal called: the boy kicked her chair, and she squirted him in the face with her water bottle. Her parents didn’t punish her. Apparently, the family cats weren’t the only ones who got sprayed for acting up.
2. “Don’t worry, everything will be OK”
One parent had to tell their children that their father had died of leukemia. It was hard to tell them the truth without making promises about an outcome no one could control.
They’d seen children given false reassurance spot the obvious lies, and said those kids didn’t do well with it. Sometimes the honest answer is painful. A fake guarantee can be worse.
3. “Abstinence is the only way”
Someone knew a woman who believed that using birth control could make her unable to have children. According to the commenter, she’d heard that from her church. It’s a rough deal when fear takes the place of basic health information.
4. “Your brother moved to London”
One person’s parents told the family their son had moved to London to start a business. The sibling says the truth was that their parents had thrown him out because he was gay.
He went to London, where young gay men were moving in the 1970s. He and his family reconnected years later, shortly before he died. That’s a long time for a cover story to stand in for an apology.
5. “You’ll never get abducted; you’re too annoying”
One person grew up being told that anyone who abducted them would quickly bring them back. Before they turned 14, they were nearly assaulted twice after people they trusted asked them into private spaces.
Their parents wanted them to see the world as loving and safe. Instead, the reassurance left them unprepared to recognize danger. Teaching kids to be alert doesn’t mean teaching them to fear everyone.
6. “You’ll go to hell if you break the rules”
One person remembered being told that hell was real and that breaking a specific set of rules meant a giant invisible man who loved them would set them on fire. Their verdict on the experience: it had them “f--ked up” at four years old.
7. “Ignore the bully”
A person who tried that advice eventually decided it was useless. They couldn’t count on adults to step in, so they scared one weaker bully and kept challenging bigger ones, even though they lost.
They didn’t claim it was the right approach. It was what a kid came up with when the grown-ups’ guidance didn’t help. Fighting can make things worse, but staying quiet can leave a child feeling abandoned. No wonder kids are left wondering what, exactly, they’re supposed to do.
8. “You can’t turn on the car’s inside light”
One driver had been on the road for a year when they nearly crashed while searching for something in the dark. They still believed the old parental warning that turning on the dome light while driving was illegal.
Turns out a rule that sounds like a safety tip can backfire if it leaves you fumbling around in a moving car.
9. “My mother never told me her age”
One person’s mother kept her real age secret and has since died. Now the family can’t answer doctors’ questions about how old she was when she had breast cancer or when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
A private detail can become important medical history. Some secrets don’t stay harmless just because they were kept inside the family.
10. “You can be anything if you work hard”
One person called this promise a setup for a “brutal collision with reality.” Another said it more bluntly: most people end up working jobs they don’t like.
Encouragement matters, but promising that effort can make every outcome possible can leave kids blaming themselves when life has other plans. Ambition is good. So is knowing hard work doesn’t control everything.
11. “Boys will be boys”
That phrase can sound like a shrug, but one person said it teaches girls that boys are allowed to behave badly simply because they’re boys.
It’s a neat trick: turn somebody’s behavior into an unavoidable fact of nature, and suddenly nobody has to address it.
12. “When you’re 18, you can do whatever you want”
One person watched their very strict sister repeat that line to her child throughout childhood. When the child reached adulthood, the sister seemed surprised by what happened next—and was already guiding her next child down the same path.
“Just wait until you’re 18” makes adulthood sound like a magic switch, not a gradual process of learning how to make good decisions.
13. “You can tell me anything”
One person said their parent promised they could share anything, then used what they disclosed against them in the next argument. The lesson stuck: don’t open up; don’t ask for help.
A promise of safety doesn’t mean much if the information becomes ammunition.
14. “Never use credit or take out loans”
Someone raised to avoid all loans and credit cards grew up without a credit history. That made getting a car loan difficult, let alone a mortgage.
15. “Family comes first, no matter what”
One person pushed back on the idea that being related gives someone unlimited chances to disrespect, manipulate, or abuse you. That lesson, they said, can leave adults feeling guilty for setting boundaries with relatives they would otherwise cut out of their lives.
They also asked why some adults side with family over a partner even when their relatives are clearly in the wrong. “Family is family” sounds simple until someone uses it to excuse everything.
16. “Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about”
One person pointed out the obvious problem: years later, parents may wonder why their adult children never talk about their feelings or ask for help. Telling a child to hide emotion doesn’t teach them how to handle it.
There’s a difference between helping a kid calm down and making them feel that having feelings is the offense.
17. “They’ve gone to sleep forever”
One person remembered adults using “gone to sleep forever” to explain that a grandparent or beloved pet had died. Some children take that literally, and the phrase can leave them afraid to go to sleep themselves.
Death is hard to explain to a child. But a euphemism that makes sleep sound dangerous can create a whole new fear to untangle.
Which childhood “harmless” line do you still remember—and did it help, or did it stick around for all the wrong reasons?
These parents weren’t all trying to cause trouble. Some wanted to reassure, protect, or keep the peace. The trouble is, a comforting line can turn into a rule a kid carries into adulthood—and sometimes that rule is spectacularly unhelpful.
1. “He’s mean because he likes you”
A sixth-grade girl’s parents told her the boy kicking her chair and moving her backpack might be trying to get her attention. They also made clear that liking someone was no excuse to mistreat her, and told her to talk to her teacher.
The next day, the principal called: the boy kicked her chair, and she squirted him in the face with her water bottle. Her parents didn’t punish her. Apparently, the family cats weren’t the only ones who got sprayed for acting up.
2. “Don’t worry, everything will be OK”
One parent had to tell their children that their father had died of leukemia. It was hard to tell them the truth without making promises about an outcome no one could control.
They’d seen children given false reassurance spot the obvious lies, and said those kids didn’t do well with it. Sometimes the honest answer is painful. A fake guarantee can be worse.
3. “Abstinence is the only way”
Someone knew a woman who believed that using birth control could make her unable to have children. According to the commenter, she’d heard that from her church. It’s a rough deal when fear takes the place of basic health information.
4. “Your brother moved to London”
One person’s parents told the family their son had moved to London to start a business. The sibling says the truth was that their parents had thrown him out because he was gay.
He went to London, where young gay men were moving in the 1970s. He and his family reconnected years later, shortly before he died. That’s a long time for a cover story to stand in for an apology.
5. “You’ll never get abducted; you’re too annoying”
One person grew up being told that anyone who abducted them would quickly bring them back. Before they turned 14, they were nearly assaulted twice after people they trusted asked them into private spaces.
Their parents wanted them to see the world as loving and safe. Instead, the reassurance left them unprepared to recognize danger. Teaching kids to be alert doesn’t mean teaching them to fear everyone.
6. “You’ll go to hell if you break the rules”
One person remembered being told that hell was real and that breaking a specific set of rules meant a giant invisible man who loved them would set them on fire. Their verdict on the experience: it had them “f--ked up” at four years old.
7. “Ignore the bully”
A person who tried that advice eventually decided it was useless. They couldn’t count on adults to step in, so they scared one weaker bully and kept challenging bigger ones, even though they lost.
They didn’t claim it was the right approach. It was what a kid came up with when the grown-ups’ guidance didn’t help. Fighting can make things worse, but staying quiet can leave a child feeling abandoned. No wonder kids are left wondering what, exactly, they’re supposed to do.
8. “You can’t turn on the car’s inside light”
One driver had been on the road for a year when they nearly crashed while searching for something in the dark. They still believed the old parental warning that turning on the dome light while driving was illegal.
Turns out a rule that sounds like a safety tip can backfire if it leaves you fumbling around in a moving car.
9. “My mother never told me her age”
One person’s mother kept her real age secret and has since died. Now the family can’t answer doctors’ questions about how old she was when she had breast cancer or when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
A private detail can become important medical history. Some secrets don’t stay harmless just because they were kept inside the family.
10. “You can be anything if you work hard”
One person called this promise a setup for a “brutal collision with reality.” Another said it more bluntly: most people end up working jobs they don’t like.
Encouragement matters, but promising that effort can make every outcome possible can leave kids blaming themselves when life has other plans. Ambition is good. So is knowing hard work doesn’t control everything.
11. “Boys will be boys”
That phrase can sound like a shrug, but one person said it teaches girls that boys are allowed to behave badly simply because they’re boys.
It’s a neat trick: turn somebody’s behavior into an unavoidable fact of nature, and suddenly nobody has to address it.
12. “When you’re 18, you can do whatever you want”
One person watched their very strict sister repeat that line to her child throughout childhood. When the child reached adulthood, the sister seemed surprised by what happened next—and was already guiding her next child down the same path.
“Just wait until you’re 18” makes adulthood sound like a magic switch, not a gradual process of learning how to make good decisions.
13. “You can tell me anything”
One person said their parent promised they could share anything, then used what they disclosed against them in the next argument. The lesson stuck: don’t open up; don’t ask for help.
A promise of safety doesn’t mean much if the information becomes ammunition.
14. “Never use credit or take out loans”
Someone raised to avoid all loans and credit cards grew up without a credit history. That made getting a car loan difficult, let alone a mortgage.
15. “Family comes first, no matter what”
One person pushed back on the idea that being related gives someone unlimited chances to disrespect, manipulate, or abuse you. That lesson, they said, can leave adults feeling guilty for setting boundaries with relatives they would otherwise cut out of their lives.
They also asked why some adults side with family over a partner even when their relatives are clearly in the wrong. “Family is family” sounds simple until someone uses it to excuse everything.
16. “Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about”
One person pointed out the obvious problem: years later, parents may wonder why their adult children never talk about their feelings or ask for help. Telling a child to hide emotion doesn’t teach them how to handle it.
There’s a difference between helping a kid calm down and making them feel that having feelings is the offense.
17. “They’ve gone to sleep forever”
One person remembered adults using “gone to sleep forever” to explain that a grandparent or beloved pet had died. Some children take that literally, and the phrase can leave them afraid to go to sleep themselves.
Death is hard to explain to a child. But a euphemism that makes sleep sound dangerous can create a whole new fear to untangle.
Which childhood “harmless” line do you still remember—and did it help, or did it stick around for all the wrong reasons?