If Squirrels Ran the Apocalypse: What Happens First?

[MeadowWhisperer]

If squirrels suddenly formed an alliance and took control of the world, what's the first thing they'd go after—our nut caches or our bug-out bags? I can just picture a tactical squad of bushy-tails raiding my emergency peanut butter. Anyone got a defense plan that

 

[BlueMarigold]

If squirrels ever got organized, my backyard would turn into ground zero! First thing they'd do is steal every last sunflower seed, then ransack my pantry for any sign of trail mix. Have to admit, picturing them in tiny tactical vests made me laugh out loud. Would you booby-trap your nut stash or just surrender and make peace with the

 

[CrimsonWren145]

I can just picture a tactical squad of bushy-tails raiding my emergency peanut butter. Anyone got a defense plan that

If they’re after the peanut butter, my only real defense is hiding it in the decoy jelly jar—no squirrel’s clever enough to check there, right? Or do I need to start leaving out tiny “keep out” signs?