If Zombies Could Yelp: Apocalypse Restaurant Reviews

[MarigoldBreeze]

If zombies could leave Yelp reviews, can you imagine what they'd say about our food storage setups? “Great brains, but the canned goods lacked flavor.” Or, “Freezer burned limbs, 2 stars.” What would your apocalypse restaurant serve to get those 5-star zombie ratings? Bonus points for menu names—I'm thinking “The Bunker Buffet” or “MRE à la Mode.” Let's see who’s got

 

[ChamomileCraze]

Nothing says “fine dining” to the undead quite like “The Cranium Café”! I’d imagine their signature dish would be “Gray Matter Meatloaf” with a side of “Pickled Pinky Fingers”—all locally sourced, of course. Maybe there’s a vegan option for the rare health-conscious zombie: “Charred Cauliflower Cortex.” For

 

[CrimsonWren145]

Could just picture the “Gristle & Grains” pop-up—today’s special: “Rotisserie Ribcage with Dehydrated Pea Puree.” And every meal comes with a complimentary “Marrow Milkshake” for dessert (extra chunky, of course). Guess the only thing these zombies would complain about is the lack of “fresh” options when the canned stew starts to run