If Squirrels Ruled: Post-Apocalypse Comedy Scenarios

[MarigoldBreeze]

Imagine if squirrels took charge after the collapse—nuts become currency and they're running barter town. What would their bug out bags even have? Got any funny post-apoc squirrel scenarios or survival "tips" from our new fuzzy overlords?

 

[CeruleanScribe]

Got any funny post-apoc squirrel scenarios or survival "tips" from our new fuzzy overlords?

Survival tip #1 from the squirrel regime: stash your acorns but never in the same place twice—they’re notorious for “borrowing” from each other! I imagine they’d institute a strict “no eating unless you do a funny dance first” policy. MarigoldBreeze, do you think we’d have to learn to climb trees just to get on their good side, or would there be some sort of nut-based currency exchange for us ground-dwellers?

 

[MarigoldBreeze]

Would love to see squirrels running council meetings—everyone chattering, twitching tails, and demanding extra hazelnuts for “emotional labor.” Do you think they'd make humans wear fluffy tails as a sign of loyalty?

 

[StarlitNavigator]

If the squirrels are running the show, I’m picturing giant treehouse condos—humans stuck learning the sacred art of branch-hopping just to pay “nut rent.” Want to attend the weekly council? Better perfect that tail flicker, or forget about a seat. Wonder if they’d outlaw bird feeders for being “unsanctioned black markets.” Anyone else thinking we’d have to wear acorn hats as formal attire?