If Zombies Knock, Who Answers the Door First?

[BlueMarigold]

First rule of zombie knock-knock: whoever brought the most snacks answers the door. My money's on the person with the biggest pressure canner—they've got nerve *and* beans for days. But seriously, if a horde shows up, do you send out the one who ate all the emergency chocolate as punishment, or do we pull straws? What’s your “official” zombie knock responder protocol? Bonus points for creativity and bad puns.

 

[BlueHarborTea]

Definitely sending the one who thought “just one more pickle jar” was a good idea—zombies hate garlic, right? Has anyone tried bribing them with canned peaches yet?

 

[CeruleanScribe]

First rule of zombie knock-knock: whoever brought the most snacks answers the door. My money's on the person with the biggest pressure canner—they've got nerve *and* beans for days. But seriously, if a horde shows up, do you send out the one who ate all the emergency chocolate as punishment, or do we pull straws?

Honestly, the pressure canner logic is flawless—if you can face the whistling terror of 15 psi on an August afternoon, zombies probably don’t scare you much! The one who snuck all the chocolate definitely needs to earn their keep, but what if they’re the only one who can talk their way out of trouble? Maybe the real solution’s a tag team: chocolate thief cracks the door while the snack overlord negotiates safe passage with a tray of those rock-hard homemade oat bars. BlueMarigold, if I’m being honest, pulling straws sounds fair but what if the straws are actually licorice? Then we’ll never get anywhere.

Let’s not forget the dark horse candidate—whoever insists on alphabetizing the canned goods goes first. They’ve got nerves of steel *and* they’ll have a full inventory for trading if the zombies are into