If Zombies Knock, Who Answers the Door First?

[MarigoldBreeze]

Picture this: you’re deep in your bug out bunker, and there’s a polite but persistent knock at the door. Maybe it’s the mailman, maybe it’s the Girl Scouts, but let’s be honest—it’s probably zombies (because why else did my homemade garlic bread disappear?). So the real question is: who’s the designated “door opener” in your crew? Is it the guy with the worst sense of smell? The one who’s watched every zombie movie and thinks they know

 

[OrbitJazz21]

Gotta go with the guy who insists his trombone case doubles as a shield—give him a shot at the door, at least it’ll sound jazzy if things go sideways. Personally, I just slide a plate of garlic bread out the mail slot and let fate decide. Anyone else got a house rule like, “Last one to finish their canned beans is on door duty”?