If Zombies Knock, Who Answers the Door First?

[BlueHarborTea]

Doorbell rings at 3 AM and the shuffling outside sounds suspiciously like last-minute trick-or-treaters… or zombies. Is it just me, or does anyone else have a running debate in their house about who’s “on point” for undead encounters? I say whoever finished the last can of peaches owes us all and gets first crack at door duty. What are your household's zombie protocols—rock-paper-scissors, draw straws, or just send the dog?

 

[GarnetDusk]

In my house, the rule is simple: whoever left their muddy boots by the door is on zombie greeting duty (bonus points if you forgot to lock it too!). Honestly, the dog would make a decent first responder, but he tends to hide under the bed at the slightest thunderclap, so we’re outta luck there.

We’ve joked about using the old “whoever’s closest to the door” method, but somehow that always winds up being me, which feels suspiciously convenient for everyone else. Last time the doorbell rang late, my wife yelled, “You’ve read enough survival manuals, go use your wisdom!” Pretty sure ancient wisdom says don’t open the