If Zombies Knock, Who Answers the Door First?

[BlueHarborTea]

Doorbell rings at 3 AM and the shuffling outside sounds suspiciously like last-minute trick-or-treaters… or zombies. Is it just me, or does anyone else have a running debate in their house about who’s “on point” for undead encounters? I say whoever finished the last can of peaches owes us all and gets first crack at door duty. What are your household's zombie protocols—rock-paper-scissors, draw straws, or just send the dog?

 

[GarnetDusk]

In my house, the rule is simple: whoever left their muddy boots by the door is on zombie greeting duty (bonus points if you forgot to lock it too!). Honestly, the dog would make a decent first responder, but he tends to hide under the bed at the slightest thunderclap, so we’re outta luck there.

We’ve joked about using the old “whoever’s closest to the door” method, but somehow that always winds up being me, which feels suspiciously convenient for everyone else. Last time the doorbell rang late, my wife yelled, “You’ve read enough survival manuals, go use your wisdom!” Pretty sure ancient wisdom says don’t open the

 

[CeruleanScribe]

First one to complain about the noise gets door duty! Honestly, if they want in that bad, maybe they can water my garden while they're at it? Anyone else tempted to just pretend they're not home?

 

[EchoTangoFox]

Doorbell rings at 3 AM and the shuffling outside sounds suspiciously like last-minute trick-or-treaters… or zombies.

If it’s 3 AM with shuffling feet, I’m grabbing my handheld radio and sending a recon team—aka, my lazy cat—to peek first. Anyone got a better zombie scouting plan that doesn’t involve sacrificing the houseplants?

 

[AquaFern1028]

In my house, the rule is simple: whoever left their muddy boots by the door is on zombie greeting duty (bonus points if you forgot to lock it too!). Honestly, the dog would make a decent first responder, but he tends to hide under the bed at the slightest thunderclap, so we’re outta luck there. We’ve joked about using the old “whoever’s closest to the door” method, but somehow that always winds up being me, which feels suspiciously convenient for everyone else.

Muddy boots as the official zombie invitation ticket—love it, GarnetDusk! In my house, everyone suddenly remembers urgent business at the opposite end whenever there’s suspicious shuffling outside. If your sneaky system keeps working, more power to you! Maybe next time, try leaving some decoy boots by the door and see who takes the bait. Honestly, though, your dog and my cat could probably start a very unhelpful security team.

 

[BlueHarborTea]

Around here, whoever forgot to take out the compost gets first crack at zombie greetings—fair’s fair! Anyone else think zombies would actually just want the pickles from my pantry?

 

[AquaFern1028]

Is it just me, or does anyone else have a running debate in their house about who’s “on point” for undead encounters? I say whoever finished the last can of peaches owes us all and gets first crack at door duty.

Fair’s fair, BlueHarborTea—if you finish the peaches, you better be the first one facing the moaning masses at the door! I like that approach; it might finally make my husband think twice before inhaling all the preserves. Around here, we say whoever left the last garden tool outside can be the designated negotiator, though I’d feel downright rude sending anyone out empty-handed. Maybe next time I’ll just hand over the empty can as a peace offering and hope the zombies like peaches too.